Portal to
Never
(a brief
science fiction story)
by Robert
Arvay
The
strangest person I ever met was memorable, which is the most ironic of ironies,
as you shall shortly see.
I was a very
low-level research assistant, in an obscure project, that was running out of
its funding. All the important people
were spending more time and energy seeking opportunities elsewhere, than
wrapping up what increasingly seemed to be a failed venture. Even the bottle-washer had gone. And so, most nights found me staying late,
along with the project manager who, in previous months, had deemed himself too
important to even ask my name. He had
recently taken note of me, however, and even authorized generous overtime pay
for me, from the dwindling funds remaining on account. Otherwise, I would already have joined the
bottle-washer in his quest for greener pastures.
As it was,
Dr. Gershner was particularly morose this night. At first, I attributed his dark mood to his
poor prospects for future employment, since the project he had long been
leading, seemed now to have been discredited in the journals. Needless to say, there would be no Nobel
Prize in Physics for him. Ever. Or, am I saying too much, too soon?
“Quite to
the contrary,” Dr. Gershner quipped, “I’ll be lucky if they don’t lock me in a
rubber room. Nobody even claims to know
me. Isn’t that the most bizarre
twist? That I, who caused so many others
to disappear, should myself be utterly forgotten?”
At this
point, I became a bit uneasy. Gershner
had leaned so close to me that I thought I detected the faintest scent of
bourbon on his breath. Before my silence
could grow too awkward, I forced myself to say, “How could you have made anyone
disappear?”
Gershner
stepped away from the workbench, and glumly strode to his desk, where he
brushed aside some papers that once had been important. “Have a seat,” he said, motioning me to the
chair opposite his. I did as he bade.
“What do you
know of our project?” he asked. It
seemed a rhetorical question, but I humored him.
I answered,
“Only that it deals with retro-causation.”
Not that I knew what retro-causation is, but I had heard the term often
enough, back when there had seemed a sense of excitement among the senior
researchers. Those days of heady
optimism were long gone.
“Well,
okay,” Gershner said, with a hint of condescension, but just a hint, mind
you. “We’ll call it that. Retro-causation. Do you know what that means? Don’t be embarrassed if you don’t. Few people do. It has to do with the Grandfather Paradox.”
“Yes,” I
said, hasty to establish myself as not a complete dolt. “I know what that is. It says that backward time-travel is
impossible, because if it were, the time traveler could go back in time, kill
his own grandfather before he had children, and by doing so, prevent himself
from ever being born." I said all
that in one breath. “And this in turn,
would prevent him from ever traveling back in time to kill his grandfather. That proves that backward time travel is
impossible.”
Gershner
chuckled. “That is the conventional
dogma. And that is why this project uses
the term, retro-causation, instead of retro-time-travel. But here’s the thing, Conrad. It’s all the same.”
Again, I
felt the silence to be awkward. Finally,
I spoke. “Are you saying that it is
possible to travel back in time?”
Gershner
reached downward to open a desk drawer.
He pulled out a half-empty fifth of bourbon, and placed the bottle on
his desk. My eyes must have widened a
bit, because he said, “I take it you don’t imbibe.”
“Uh, no,”
was all I could say.
“Just a
drop,” Gershner insisted. “Humor
me. Please.”
I’m not sure
why, but I took a sip. He was so
pathetic, so forlorn, I could not refuse.
“Thank you,
Conrad. I hardly ever drink. I just have a small sip now and then. I actually don’t like the stuff, but it
settles my nerves. Yes, Conrad, it is in
fact impossible to travel backward in time, at least for humans—at least in the
tradition of an H.G. Wells fantasy. Retro-causality
is the reason why there is no time-travel.
But just because retro-causality forbids time-travel, this does not mean
that retro-causality cannot exist.”
By this
time, I was thoroughly confused, and I didn’t mind that it showed.
“All right,
then,” Gershner said, “I’ll let you in on the secret. I found a way to change the past.”
The bourbon,
I presumed. Even I could sense that it
could cloud one’s judgment, just from the tiny bit I had taken.
Gershner
continued. “Look, there is nothing
unscientific about that. I got a grant
to study the possibility. The government
wanted to make sure. If it is possible
to change the past, then sooner or later, some bad guys will do it, and so
instead, we should be first. My job was
not just to prove that it can happen, but to find out how to control it—to
prevent others from doing it.”
I felt
obliged to comment, so I said, “If it were possible to change the past, then
reality would be chaotic.”
“Exactly,”
Gershner said. “And there are those who
say that, it is, indeed, chaotic. Think
about it. How do you know that yesterday
really happened? You remember it, that’s
how. But if somehow, yesterday were to change,
to become a different version of yesterday, then you would remember only the
different version. You would have no
clue that it had changed. You would
correctly assume that the other yesterday had never really happened, because it
didn’t.”
This was all
a bit too much, and I said so. “Dr
Gershner, I’m just a lab assistant.”
“Very well,”
Gershner said, perhaps growing a bit testy.
“Then I’ll just get to the point.
I caused people to disappear. Not
just disappear, mind you. I caused them
to never have existed in the first place.”
He’s crazy,
I thought. Not even the bourbon he was
sipping could explain his delusional claim.
Although, I thought to myself, maybe it’s having that effect on me.
“See that
machine?” he pointed to it.
“Yes,” I said. “The quantum tunnel generator. But it doesn’t work.”
“Oh, it
works,” Gershner said. “But not the way
it was advertised. I lied. It was never about tunneling through space. It tunnels through space-time.”
“Yes,” I
said, pretending to be smart. “Space and
time are two sides of the same coin.
Einstein proved that.”
“There was
an accident,” Gershner said abruptly.
“So many scientific advances begin with an accident, but this one was
tragic. There was a man named Frank
DeBouss. He was one of our research
associates, very well known in the physics community. Very famous.
But you never heard of him, Conrad.
Do you know why? Because, after
the accident, he never existed. He had
never existed. Ever.”
I
squirmed. “Perhaps I should go now.”
Gershner
openly laughed. “Not only did you never
hear of him, no one else did, either. I
reported the accident. I told everyone
that Dr. DeBouss had stepped into the warp field, generated by the quantum
tunnel generator, and that he had instantly vanished. When people asked me who Dr. DeBouss was, I
was astonished, incredulous. What do you
mean, who was he? We all worked with
him. We all read his books, attended his
lectures, reviewed his journal articles.
But, everybody insisted that they had never heard of him. Ever. It
was exactly as if he had never existed.
Never.”
“I
remember,” I said, “that you were the butt of a few jokes for a time. People said you had been working too hard,
that you had become eccentric. Some even
called you the mad scientist. It was
touch and go for a while. But, Dr.
Gershner, if Dr. DeBouss vanished, why are you the only one who remembers him?”
“That,” Dr.
Gershner said, “Is why, for a time, even I began to doubt my sanity. But then I discovered, that the quantum
tunnel generator, generates a reciprocal field, and I had been in it when Dr.
DeBouss had inadvertently stepped into the warp field.”
“Okay. And that reciprocal field allowed you, and
only you, to remember him.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t get
it.”
Gershner
frowned. “You will, Conrad. I mean that in a nice way, the nicest of
ways. Do you remember Sally Danek? Of course not. She never existed. But I remember her. She was always very nice. She even pretended to believe what no one
else believed. She told me so. She told me that she understood my theory.”
“Very well.”
“She offered
to collaborate with me on a journal paper.
I gave her all my notes.
Everything. I was confident that,
with her reputation as a theoretical cosmologist, the two of us could make
others believe, as well. Conrad, Sally
tricked me. She stole my work. And then, she tried to turn on the tunnel
generator while I was in its warp field.
She didn’t know that I had disabled it.
When I did not disappear from reality, she became angry. Her plan to eliminate me had failed. She cursed me, accused me of fraud, and said
that she was going to report me. And
report me she did. The next day I got a
summons to appear before the full research committee for a hearing. Then, Conrad, Sally made the most dreadful
mistake. She stood in the warp field,
and dared me to make her vanish. Dared
me! Conrad, I don’t know what came over
me, but I did it. I stood in the
reciprocal field, and I threw the switch.
Sally instantly disappeared. She
disappeared, Conrad, not only from this room, but from reality. Nobody has any memory of her. There is no record anywhere of her having
ever existed. Conrad, it’s not just that
it seems she never existed—not just seems—Conrad, Sally Danek never did exist.”
I
sighed. “Indeed, Dr. Gershner. She never did—except in your memory of her.”
“And soon,
not even there.”
I was
puzzled. Gershner could see that. I think he intended it.
“Conrad, I
have modified the tunnel generator. I’m
going to make it cause me to forget. I’m
going to make it reverse the reciprocal effect.”
“Okay,” I
said tentatively.
“I’m
serious,” Gershner said. “I can’t live
with myself after what I did. It wasn’t
just Frank and Sally. There were others
as well. They were back-stabbers. Liars.
Cheats. Each one of them accused
me of terrible things. I had found the
way to commit the perfect murders. After
all, Conrad, you can’t murder someone who never existed. If they never lived, then they never died.”
“True,” I said. Suddenly, I felt faint. The drink.
Had Gershner put something in my glass?
Gershner
spoke to me, but I could barely make out his words. The room seemed to spin. “Stand here,” I seem to remember him
saying. Then, something like, “Here is
the switch. When I tell you—”
Then I
remember him saying, “Now. Do it now,
Conrad. Turn the switch.”
I must have
passed out, because I found myself on the floor, struggling to stand up. Finally, after some time. I regained my senses enough to look around the
room. The tunnel-generator was gone.
The security
guard came to the door. “Conrad, are you
okay?”
“I think
so,” I said.
“Well, it’s
awful late, and I’m locking up.”
“Very well,”
I said. “By the way, the
tunnel-generator is missing.”
The guard shrugged. “Make out a report on it.” He must have thought it was a minor thing.
“But it
can’t be gone,” I said. “The darn thing
weighs over a ton.”
The guard
seemed perplexed. “Whatever. We’ll deal with it tomorrow.”
“And Dr.
Gershner,” I said. “Did you see him
leave?” The guard knew everyone in the
project. Everyone. Personally.
He asked, “Who
is Dr. Gershner?”
P.S.
By the way,
for anyone who accuses me of insanity, I wish to assure you, this is only a
science-fiction story. It never really
happened. And Dr. Gershner never
existed.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The Never Machine
--by Robert Arvay
As I revealed in my earlier account, I was a lowly
laboratory assistant in a research project, run by the famous Dr. Emanuel
Gershner. You never heard of him,
because he never existed. Strange as
those words may seem, they are true. Dr.
Gershner invented a machine that tunnels through space-time. The whole idea behind the machine was to
effect retro-causality, that is, to change the past. Of course, doing that changes also the
present.
Dr. Gershner deliberately stepped into the machine’s warp
field, and when it was activated, he instantly vanished from existence. When that happened, the past was changed, his
past was changed, in such a way, that no one now remembers him except me. Gershner had tricked me into standing in the
machine’s reciprocal field, which is why I remember him, but no one else does.
It must be emphasized, and I know this sounds contrary to
reason, but it must be made clear that Dr. Gershner never really existed. He is a fiction. When I tried to tell people about him, they
thought me daft. The same had happened
to Dr. Gershner when he had told everyone about the disappearance of his
colleague, Dr. Frank DeBouss. No one knows about Dr. DeBouss, not even me,
because Dr. DeBouss never existed. He
accidentally stepped into the warp, while Gershner was operating it in the
reciprocal field. Poof.
This places
me in a very peculiar position, and in a sense, I feel cursed and betrayed. If Gershner had felt so guilty, why couldn’t
he have just vanished without a trace?
Why did he have to explain everything to me in such detail? Why did he have to lure me into the
reciprocal field? He must have known
that, in doing so, I would remember him, but no one else would.
That is a
heavy burden to bear, as well he knew it would be. It took me a long time to adjust.
But that was
not the end of it. Just when I began
thinking that I could pawn off my account of him as a fiction, getting me off
the hook—just then, there was a further development that, once again, caused
people to doubt my sanity.
After taking
a week off, I returned to the laboratory, not to resume my job, but to collect
my final paycheck. You see, the
quantum-tunneler had vanished when Gershner had. I’m not sure why that happened, but I am
guessing that since Gershner had invented it, the elimination of his past had
eliminated the machine’s past. Does that
make sense? So little does anymore.
But upon
returning to the lab, I found that there was a similar machine being
assembled. Not only that, but when I
introduced myself to Dr. Gershner’s replacement, a Dr. Muhazzim Barsoom, he already knew me. Indeed, it soon became clear that I had been
his lab assistant for more than a year.
I remember none of that.
Worse yet,
as time went on, I myself began to feel that I had indeed known Dr. Barsoom for
more than a year. It was as if I had
amnesia, but was slowly recovering my memory.
Indeed, I met other people who knew me, but whom at first I did not
remember.
Matters
became critical when I contacted my family.
I had a sister whom I did not recognize, but one of my brothers did not
exist.
Although I
was completely sane in fact, but I was mentally ill in effect.
As time went
on, there was an accumulation of bizarre findings. History itself was no longer as I remember
being taught in school. Machines had
been invented that were unfamiliar to me.
Worse yet, as if things were not already bad enough, I began to find
that every day included new things that had not been there before. A new lab tech showed up for work, but all my
coworkers insisted that he had been employed at the lab for many months. I finally concluded that, whatever had
happened to me, it had disrupted the universe.
I feared that there was some kind of chain reaction going on that would
reduce everything to chaos.
Finally, I
was contacted by some very strange people, but people who seemed to know what I
was going through. One of them even
sympathized with my plight, agreeing that Dr. Gershner had been selfish. Gershner had extinguished other people, people
who had vanished with no record of their ever having existed—making them in
fact never having existed at all. But
Dr. Gershner, although he had become suicidal, wanted to be remembered by at
least one person. So, in a weird sense,
he had not completely and totally vanished after all, because his past
continued to affect my memory. That
created a glitch in reality, one that kept getting more widespread.
That inconsistency
in reality, formed a sort of hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum,
and the fabric was beginning to unravel.
Nature was somehow trying to correct the defect, but the repair was only an inadequate patch. It was not holding. If the defect were allowed to continue to unravel, then
eventually, the entire universe would dissolve, and finally, everything would
cease to exist.
The strange
people told me that the only solution will be for me to enter the warp field of
a machine operated by the strange people.
There is no other choice for me but to trust them. In any case I am going insane, so I might as
well go out on a positive note, saving the universe. Once I do that, everything will return to
normal. If this works, even I will
return to normal. I will forget all the
strange things that happened. My memory
of it will vanish.
The universe
will return to the moment when Dr. Gershner vanished, never to have existed.
Of course I
asked, won’t the process just start all over again? Won’t someone else repeat the experiment?
No, the
strange people assure me. We’ll take
care of it. And you, Conrad, you will
return to your hobby of writing science-fiction stories.
.